


do all homes have hearts?

by tardisfireworks



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Other, please knock some sense into the writer, the writer also has finals soon, the writer hates tenses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22173796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tardisfireworks/pseuds/tardisfireworks
Summary: The intricate, centuries-long dance with the Master leaves the Doctor alone and confused.
Relationships: The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 56





	do all homes have hearts?

The Doctor is a child again.

The Master is his best friend. They huddle in the corner of one of the many libraries in the Academy over a sheet of paper.

“No, Theta! We have to go to Hokbah! It’s so nice and warm all year round …” Koschei takes a moment to imagine himself with Theta, rolling in the pink sand.

“Oh, please, Hokbah is your generic level 3 planet! Why do you want to go there?” Theta says. “Sxillo is a much nicer planet anyway, it’s got fourteen moons in neon colours! Look! How cool is that!” Theta points at a picture of Sxillo’s night sky on the table. The moons look like fireworks in the pitch black sky.

“Oh, yes, Theta. So cool that any normal Time Lord would die because of the temperature range. Why can’t we go somewhere that won’t cause our first regeneration?”

“Fine,” Theta concedes, “we’ll go to Hokbah, never do anything worthwhile, never learn anything new …”

Koschei laughs. “Fine. Sxillo it is.”

Theta’s eyes sparkle. “Really?”

“Yes,” Koschei says earnestly. “Our first trip when we become Time Lords will be to Sxillo.”

“Even though we might die?”

Koschei looks at his best friend. “What’s regeneration for then?”

A look of regret falls on his face when Theta smothers him with a hug.

.

.

The Doctor remembers his childhood far too vividly.

Sometimes, he has such nice dreams that he wishes he never woke up. Still though, a life with Rose, that  _ was  _ something. Her looks of wonder every time she steps out somewhere, or even some- _ when _ new, makes his hearts flutter with a similar childish excitement that he had whenever Koschei took him to explore off-limits parts of the Academy.

Koschei.

He knows the Master’s gone.

But that doesn’t stop him from cursing his best friend for making him the adrenaline junkie he is today.

.

.

There’s something between Amy and Rory he craves. 

Perhaps it’s the romance. But that doesn’t feel quite right - romance just doesn’t cover it.

There’s always these moments where Amy  _ understands _ Rory on a molecular level, even if the Doctor can’t.

Amy doesn’t mind read, or control his actions (although Rory might playfully contradict that assertion), she just  _ knows. _

She’s not always accurate or precise, but she can tell if Rory’s alright or not even if he’s doing his best to hide it.

Maybe because they’ve grown up together, known each other for so long (in human terms) that there’s just this spiritual connection they have, even if humans can’t be telepaths.

He knows what he craves now.

He wants his childhood friend back.

.

.

The Doctor wants to go back to his past - not in the TARDIS, but go back to being a child, when he was carefree.

Young Time Lords were not supposed to be carefree though. They were supposed to be traditional, disciplined and academic.

He is none of the above: he has always wanted something new out of his life, always wanted to question everything, and has always gone by his gut instinct. He never did mesh well with the Time Lords.

So where did this sudden urge to go back home come from?

A home where he was a misfit?

A home where he had absolutely nothing to cherish?

But despite all of this, he never felt lonely on Gallifrey. He had always  _ wanted _ to escape that place, but he never felt lonely there.

He supposes he and the Master were always the odd ones out.

.

.

The Doctor stares at the ruins of her home planet.

She realises she  _ did  _ have something to cherish there. She had her memories.

Her past, all burnt down, nothing but smoke and ash.

She can see the Academy, in the distance - and the smell of charred books and dreams is nauseating.

Tears threaten to fall, and she needs to go back inside.

The message from the Master waits for her.

She wishes she could forget.

She wishes she could just -

The hologram disk hits the floor, but it does not break.

That infuriates the Doctor even more.

.

.

Three days later she finds a folded piece of old paper, sitting there in the wardrobe. She doesn’t remember why it’s there, but this is the most curious she’s felt in days.

She opens it and she finds names of planets, some in a rough but consistent handwriting, and the others in rushed strokes, some of them crossed out.

She doesn’t know what it is, but it seems familiar and personal.

She looks at the one planet name circled in four different inks -  _ Sxillo. _

The memories come flooding back to her - they’d never visited it, in the end.

Tears have been threatening to fall for hundreds of years.

She doesn’t plan to let them out now.

She can’t.

Oh, but they do fall anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! it would make my day if you took the time to comment on my writing and style, as i am trying to improve!


End file.
